This was a submission from Frankih
But there doesn’t seem to be a way to post it directly, which makes no sense? Here it is, anyway.
How to Make Grilled Cheese Sandwiches:
Step 0: Desire grilled cheese. If you are like me, this will not be a problem. If this will be a problem for you, you are either a vegan (in which case these instructions will be useless to you) or there is something really, really wrong with you.
Step 1: Drink some wine. (Optional but recommended. You’re probably not all thaaaat hungry yet, so just sit and have a cigarette and this glass of wine.) Repeat to your own personal satisfaction.
Step 2: Realize that you are fucking starving now, and go look in the fridge. Yes, you do have cheese and bread. It’s that cheap, grocery-store brand cheddar, which makes perfect grilled cheese.
Step 3: Remove two slices of bread from the bag. Lose the little plastic clip that keeps bread bags twisted shut, so just spin it around, and tuck the little twist under the loaf.
Step 4: Slice cheese. More cheese is better, defacto, so don’t worry about making the slices TOO thin. Eat a couple slices of cheese before putting the cheese on the bread.
Step 5: Put frying pan on stove. Place sandwich on frying pan.
Step 6: Wait.
Step 7: Flip the bread.
Step 8: Wait.
Step 9: Flip the bread.
Step 10: You’re bored, so to keep yourself occupied, eat a cracker or something and repeat steps 6-9.
Step 11: Shit, there is too much cheese. Take the sandwich off the pan before you burn the bread. Put it on a plate and microwave it for 30 seconds.
Step 12: Make the bread crispy again by putting it all back on the frying pan.
Step 13: Eat sandwich! More wine is optional.
